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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/25981723">Speak『kuroken』</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/AspenKai/pseuds/AspenKai'>AspenKai</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Haikyuu!!</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Angst, Anxiety Attacks, Dysfunctional Family, Family Issues, Gay, Gay Character, M/M, Panic Attacks, Sad with a Happy Ending, Social Anxiety</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-08-18</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-08-18</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-05 11:29:36</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>4,206</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/25981723</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/AspenKai/pseuds/AspenKai</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>I grew up in the stairwell hearing fights in the kitchen<br/>I never could talk loud enough so I learned how to listen<br/>I'm good at being small<br/>I'm good at needing nothing at all<br/>I find my place in other people's shadows<br/>Leave the party late, break down crying on the way home<br/>And you call me, you tell me, I listen intently<br/>I wait for you to ask me<br/>How is it you forgot how to speak?<br/>But you don't</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Akaashi Keiji/Bokuto Koutarou, Iwaizumi Hajime/Oikawa Tooru, Kozume Kenma &amp; Kuroo Tetsurou, Kozume Kenma/Kuroo Tetsurou</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>12</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>232</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Speak『kuroken』</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>This fanfic is based off Eliza McLamb's song Speak. Please go listen to the song and support the artist!</p><p>Warning: This story has vivid depictions of Panic Attacks, Family Related Issues, Profanity, Social Anxiety, and some internalized homophobia.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Kenma placed his headphones over his ears, trying to block out his parent’s shouts. He snuck into the kitchen, trying his hardest to be unnoticed. The two screaming adults looked over at their small child. They halted their screaming, putting on the ‘happy family’ act for their child.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Good morning sweetie,” his mother said. He looked up at her, reluctantly taking off his headphones. He put on his ‘oblivious son’ act, which included a small soft smile. He waved hi to his dad, who just smiled at him.</span>
</p><p> <span>‘</span><em><span>Hello, Mom and Dad! I’m so glad you stopped fighting for me. It’s not like I heard you yelling at each other all last night. And I TOTALLY didn’t hear you fighting not even two minutes ago</span></em><span>,’ Kenma thought. He grabbed his lunch off the counter, wanting to escape his ‘perfectly happy’ family.</span></p><p>
  <span>“Do you need anything else, son?” his father questioned. Kenma shook his head, refusing to use his voice. His parents exchanged a glance, pity filling their expressions. Kenma stared at them, rage taking over his emotions. He wanted to scream, he wanted to yell but he couldn’t. He knew he couldn’t and it wasn’t because his vocal cords would give out. It wasn’t because he ‘forgot’ how to speak. He knew he could yell if he wanted to. He knew he could scream at them the way they scream at each other but they didn’t deserve his words. They didn’t deserve to hear his voice. No one else got to hear his voice, and even if someone else did, he wouldn’t even consider sharing it with his parents. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Kenma, when will you talk to us again?” his mother asked as he started to leave the room. He swallowed a lump in his throat. He loved his parents, he really did but loving and liking someone is very different. Kenma didn’t like his parents. They always thought about themselves and never about others. They act like they still love each other and when asked why they would fake their love they would say it was for Kenma. This made him chuckle. It wasn’t for him, it was for them. They couldn’t stand the idea that they had fallen out of love. That they were wrong about one another. That they weren’t the same people that they had fallen in love with. Kenma had always known he was their cover-up. He was the perfect person to hide their insecurities. The beloved child, the creation of two lovers who don’t really love each other. When asked, Kenma always said he loved his parents. That doesn’t mean he ever really liked them. His voice was something to be shared with people he liked. A child will always love their parent, no matter what the parent does to the child. But the kid doesn’t have to actually like who the parent is, or what they stand for. That’s part of being someone’s kid. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘</span>
  <em>
    <span>Hopefully never</span>
  </em>
  <span>,’ Kenma thought. Instead of vocalizing his thoughts, he shrugged his shoulders, walking away from his parents. They glared at each other. Kenma knew once the front door was shut they would go for each other’s throat. They would start to blame each other for their child’s silence. Neither of them would take the blame because neither of them wanted to be the reason for a mute kid. Little did they know that they were both the cause. It was a team effort, one that took the two of them. That’s right, it took both of them to silence Kenma.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Kenma breathed in the cool air. He was glad to be outside, basking in the silence of the outdoors. He let his footsteps match his heartbeat, the rhythmic noise distracting his troubled mind. He didn’t put his headphones on. He didn’t start playing some games on his phone. He just walked. He didn’t need anything else. He didn’t need a distraction. He watched his breath, the smoke slightly amusing him. Kenma held a soft smile on his face, enjoying his walk. He rarely smiled but when he did, his whole face lit up. He was so distracted, that he didn’t notice a certain black-haired male waiting for him. He didn’t notice how the male walked next to him, not saying a word. He didn’t notice the soft smile on the ravenette’s face. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>‘</span>
  <em>
    <span>Shit</span>
  </em>
  <span>,’ Kenma thought as he stared at the building in front of him. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘</span>
  <em>
    <span>Kuroo</span>
  </em>
  <span>!’ Kenma has been so distracted that Kuroo completely slipped his mind. Panic filled the small boy as he turned around. Kuroo was probably waiting for him. The boy ran into the ravenette, fear still written all over his face. Kenma looked up, ready to apologize to the rather tall stranger he ran into.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Where are you going?” Kuroo asked, his smile still on his face. Kenma blinked a few times, trying to register who he was looking at.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘I was going to get you,’ Kenma signed. He was still in complete shock. Kuroo tilted his head in confusion. Kenma loved when he did this, it made him look like a lost puppy.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“But we walked to school together?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘But I didn’t see you. Actually I didn’t even notice your presence! You were so quiet! Why didn’t you say anything! We could have talked!’ Kenma signed with the slightest bit of annoyance.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You seemed happy and I didn’t want to ruin that,” Kuroo said. Kenma felt his cheeks heat up, the smallest smile appearing on his face. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘</span>
  <em>
    <span>Idiot</span>
  </em>
  <span>,’ Kenma thought. Kuroo gave him a bright smile, his ears turning a soft red. Kenma wrapped his small arms around Kuroo’s waist. Kuroo lets his arms wrap around the small boy, his ears going redder. Kenma felt him tighten his grip, his small figure practically melting into the taller boy. Kuroo’s grip wasn’t painful, it was actually rather warm and comforting. He held Kenma protectively, glaring at anyone who glanced their way. He wanted to do nothing but protect the boy and Kenma wanted nothing but to be protected.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Kenma watched Kuroo violently tap his phone. Kuroo’s face lit up, a small yes rolling off his tongue and into the air. Kenma tapped his shoulder, his hands beginning to move.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘What’s got you so happy?’ </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Bokuto!” Kuroo exclaimed. Kenma felt his heart twist, in a rather painful matter. Kenma wasn’t one to get jealous, or at least he thought he wasn’t. He knew that Kuroo was close to Bokuto and they had some sort of bromance. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“He invited me to this really sick party! I’ve wanted to go to this party for MONTHS! I can’t believe he really got us invited! Man do I love him!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘Oh.’ Kenma felt his heart shatter. Sure, Kuroo talked a lot about Bokuto but he never said he loved him. Kenma had always secretly hoped Bokuto loved Akaashi, so he could have Kuroo all to himself. He knew it was a selfish wish, but he couldn’t help it. When you like someone as long as Kenma has liked Kuroo, the only thing you wish is that that person likes you back. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Do you wanna come?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘What?’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Bokuto has three invites. He only used two, one for me and one for Akaashi. He said I could use his last invite and I was wondering if you wanted to come with me?” Kenma blinked a few times.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘You sure you want me to come?’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I wouldn’t want it to be anyone else!” Kuroo said, his ears turning light pink. Kenma felt his heart stop, a smile on his face.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘Okay, I’ll go with you.’ </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Really!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘Yeah.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>‘</span>
  <em>
    <span>Fuck</span>
  </em>
  <span>!’ Kenma mentally slapped himself. He hated parties more than he hated talking. Actually maybe he hated them equally, he doesn’t really know but he does know that they go hand-in-hand. Unlike Kuroo, Kenma wasn’t much of a social butterfly. If anything, Kenma was the exact opposite. Social interaction had always freaked Kenma out, to the point that he took social anxiety medication. When he stopped talking, rumors began to surface. As you probably expected, that didn’t help his anxiety. Kenma stopped going to events and gathering soon after the rumors began. Kuroo had tried to get Kenma to go to social gatherings but he never actually got Kenma to go with him. He didn’t mind, of course, he had Bokuto to keep track of anyways. Kenma felt bad constantly telling Kuroo he didn’t want to go to parties with him. He knew Kuroo didn’t mind, but he still felt bad. It felt nice to be invited but he just never could bring himself to go. Somehow Kenma now found himself going to a party, the thing he feared most. What would he even do at a party? It isn’t like he can have a conversation with a stranger, seeing he was mute. He could drink, but that might cause his parents to fight again. He could dance. Wait, nevermind. His social anxiety would never let him do that. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Kenma practically jumped out of his skin when he felt a hand on his shoulder. He looked at Yaku, who held a soft smile on his face.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Kuroo is waiting for you outside,” Yaku said, nodding his head towards the ravenette standing outside the classroom door. Kenma smiled at Yaku, who nodded his head.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You’re welcome,” he said. Yaku and Kenma had some sort of secret language. Kenma never said anything and somehow Yaku understood what he was trying to say. Unlike Kuroo, who had spent years learning sign language to talk to Kenma, Yaku didn’t understand any sign language. That’s why their bond was so special. They understood each other without using words.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Kuroo stared at Kenma as they walked home. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘What?’ Kenma questioned his face beat red. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You don’t have to go to this party if you don’t want to,” Kuroo finally said. Kenma let out a sigh.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘Why do you keep saying that?’ Kenma signed in annoyance. Kuroo hummed, trying to come up with an answer.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I know you dislike social interaction. Actually you don’t just dislike it, you fear it. I don’t want to put you in a position that makes you feel like you have to come to the party. I don’t want to make you uncomfortable. I won’t be hurt or upset if you don’t want to come, okay?” Kenma nodded his head, his heart beating extremely fast. He never thought Kuroo cared so much about his anxiety. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘I want to go,’ He signed. Kuroo nodded his head, a smile forming on his face. Kenma stared at him, his cheeks a deep red. Kuroo had the type of smile that could make a whole room freeze and admire him. He had his eyes closed, showing Kenma that he didn’t need to see anything. He was so happy, he didn’t want to ruin it with his surroundings. Kenma wished he had Kuroo’s smile. He wished he would make everything look so dull because he practically shined but then Kuroo wouldn’t be so special. Kenma couldn’t imagine Kuroo without his smile, he couldn’t imagine their lives switched. So he was happy being one of the people who got to see his smile. He was happy being so dull while Kuroo shined. He was happy being another one of the people who stopped everything to admire Kuroo. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Kenma dropped his bag by the front door, a soft smile on his face. He knew his smile wouldn’t last long. His home was practically a nightmare, so the smile would be gone too soon.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hey, son!” Kenma felt his smile vanish. His dad looked down at him, a smile on his face. Kenma wanted to slap the smile off his face, he wouldn’t of course but he wanted to. He typed out a message, showing it to his father. His dad’s smile was whipped off his face. He looked down at Kenma, not saying a word. Kenma stayed in his gaze for another minute before deciding to leave.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Why?” his dad asked him. Kenma turned on his heel, his head tilting in confusion. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Why do you spend so much time with Kuroo instead of me! I’m your father for fucks sake!” his dad said, his voice progressively getting louder. Kenma stared at him, blinking a few times. His dad’s face twisted with anger.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What has he done for you that I haven’t! I’ve been more than kind to you!” Kenma took a few steps back, anger tugging at his heart.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I NEVER GOT MAD AT THE FACT THAT YOU CHOSE NOT TO TALK TO ME! I HAVE DONE EVERYTHING FOR YOU AND YOU DO NOTHING IN RETURN! YOU JUST STAND THERE AND BLINK!” Kenma’s dad shouted. Kenma blinked a few tears back, running to his bedroom. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘</span>
  <em>
    <span>Kuroo isn’t a fake fuck who acts like everything’s okay! He isn’t a self-centered bitch! He doesn’t use me as an excuse to stay with a wife who he doesn’t love! He doesn’t blame me for his problems! Kuroo is kind! Kuroo cares!</span>
  </em>
  <span>’ Kenma’s mind screamed. He felt tears fall down his face, his vision fading. He heard his dad screaming at him, although his mind muffled his voice. He felt his heart rate pick up. His hands tugged on his two-toned hair, his breath giving out. He felt like he was suffocating. No matter how hard he tried, he couldn’t breathe. Tears kept falling as his hands yanked on his hair. He felt panic take over his body, leaving him an emotional mess.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Kenma walked out of his house, dressed in what he thought was party attire. He had a black bucket hat, black shirt with a red box in the middle, tan plaid pants, and white shoes. Kenma really wasn’t a fashion expert, so he just threw on some nice clothes.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Kenma!” Kuroo said, excitement in his voice. Kenma’s face warmed up as blood rushed to his cheeks. Kenma gave Kuroo a soft smile.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘Hey, Kuroo.’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You look AMAZING!” Kuroo practically shouted. Kenma blushed harder, his heart picking up its pace.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘Thanks! You look good too,’ Kenma signed. Kuroo’s ears turned light pink, a blush making its way to his face.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Bokuto is picking us up. I hope that's okay?” Kenma nodded, his hand tugging on his sleeves.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘Hey, Kuroo?’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘Can I stay over at your place? My dad is upset and I really don’t want to go home,’ Kenma nervously signed. Sure, him and Kuroo had been friends for ten years but somehow Kenma still got nervous asking to stay over. Kenma felt an arm wrap around his shoulder, the warmth bringing a sense of comfort. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Of course,” Kuroo said sweetly. Kenma snuggled into his arm, his stomach twisting itself into knots. Kuroo held onto Kenma protectively, his face beat red.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hey! Hey! Hey!” a voice called out. Kuroo smiled, his face cooling down.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Bokuto!” Kenma felt Kuroo’s arm leave his shoulder, his heart aching. Kenma got in the back seat of Bokuto’s convertible, Kuroo following soon after. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Kenma this is Bokuto and his boyfriend Akaashi,” Kenma felt his heart flutter, “Guys this is Kenma!” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“So you’re the Kenma Kuroo won’t shut up about,” Bokuto said, a smirk on his face. Kuroo’s face went beet red as Kenma glanced at him. Kenma let out a small giggle while watching Kuroo hit Bokuto.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Nice to meet you,” Akaashi said.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘You too! Kuroo talks a lot about you and Bokuto, although he never told me you two were dating,’ Kenma signed. Akaashi blinked a few times before smiling.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“We just started dating,” Akaashi said, his face turning light pink, “Also, your sign language is really good. It did take me a moment to process.” Kenma blinked a few times, shock on his face. He had no idea that Akaashi knew sign language.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘Thanks,’ Kenma signed, showing a bright smile. Kuroo stopped hitting Bokuto to stare at Kenma. His face reddened, his heart rate picking up.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Kenma looked around the room, his hand tugging on his shirt. The music was a little too loud and the room was filled with all sorts of colors. Everywhere you looked there was a kid with a drink in hand. Kenma swallowed, his heart rate picking up. Kuroo looked back at the small boy, his heart dropping. Kenma held a panicked expression, doing his best to stay small. It wasn’t too hard for him, seeing as he was 5’6 and 128 pounds. Kuroo grabbed Kenma’s hand, which was playing with his shirt. Kenma looked up at the ravenette, his face bright red. Kuroo gave him a reassuring smile and continued to follow Bokuto. They finally got to a couch that had some people already sitting down.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Bokuto! Kuroo!” someone shouted. Both boys turned around, locking eyes with a rather happy male. Kenma squeezed Kuroo’s hand, anxiety kicking in.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“That’s Oikawa, he goes to a shit ton of parties. Me and Bokuto tend to hang out with him at parties,” Kuroo said to the anxious Kenma. The brown-haired male handed a drink to Bokuto and Kuroo before falling on the couch. Kuroo sat down next to Oikawa, a smile on his face.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“How long have you been here?” Bokuto questioned.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Long enough,” A grumpy male said, making Bokuto jump.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Iwa~Chan don’t be so rude to my friends,” Oikawa slurred. Iwaizumi rolled his eyes, sitting on the edge of the couch. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You’re also babysitting?” Akaashi asked Iwaizumi. He let out a gruff laugh.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Akaashi,” Bokuto whined. Kuroo squeezed Kenma’s hand, a smile on his face. Kenma felt himself relax in Kuroo’s touch. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>A few drinks later and the group was on the dance floor, singing their drunk hearts out. Kenma stayed on the couch with Akaashi and Iwaizumi, who both smiled watching the group dance. Kenma stared at Kuroo, who was jumping up and down to the beat. He let out a small laugh, grabbing Akaashi’s attention.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You don’t party, do you?” Akaashi asked. Kenma shook his head. Akaashi nudged Iwaizumi, whispering something in his ear. The grumpy male rolled his eyes at Akaashi, who gave him a sweet smile. Akaashi got up, offering his hand to Kenma.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Come dance,” Akaashi said. Kenma shook his head.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘I can’t dance,’ he signed.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“So what, come dance with us!” Kenma shook his head again, anxiety clawing at his stomach. Kenma heard a sigh, making him lookup.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Look at Oikawa for a second,” Iwaizumi said. Kenma listened to him, staring at Oikawa as he shook what little ass he had.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“He has no as, and honestly doesn’t know how to twerk but there he is, dancing his heart out. You don’t have to be good at dancing, or even know how you just have to get out there and dance.” Kenma looked at Iwaizumi, who now also had his hand out.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Dance with us,” Akaashiu and Iwaizum said at the same time. Kenma let out a sigh, grabbing their hand. He was led to the dance floor, where the three drunks were. Kuroo looked over at Kenma, a smile on his face.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Kenma, you are going to dance!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘Yes.’ Kuroo stared at him, a dorky smile on his face. Kenma's eyes widened as Kuroo grabbed his arm. Kuroo jumped around, Kenma smiling at his bad dancing skills. He let out a sigh, following Kuroos lead. They both jumped around, not really dancing. Kenma giggled, feeling ridiculous but even if his dancing was ridiculous, he was happy. One could say, ridiculously happy.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Oikawa hopped back to the group, a smirk on his face. Iwaizumi looked over at the male, letting out a long sigh.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What did you do?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Let’s just say, you need a partner for this next song,” Oikawa said, grabbing Iwaizumi’s hand. Kenma giggled, heading over to Kuroo. He bumped into Bokuto, who held Akaashi in his arms. Kenma winked at Akaashi, before heading towards Kuroo. A slow and rather sexy Hispanic song began to play. Kenma looked up to see Kuroo slowly grinding on a random girl, a sexy smirk on his face. Kenma felt his heart drop, his anxiety coming back to him. He slowly walked away from Kuroo, panic grabbing his chest. Kenma felt his back collide with someone.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hey, you okay?” Iwaizumi asked, while practically grinding on Oikawa. Kenma nodded his head, his eyes beginning to swell. Iwaizumi nodded, letting Kenma go. Kenma ran out the door, tears starting to fall. Tears hit the ground as he ran, his breath failing him. He began to process what he saw. Kuroo wasn’t dancing with him, why would he?  Why would he dance with the kid who gave up talking? Why would he dance with the kid whose parents don’t even love each other?</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘</span>
  <em>
    <span>Why would he dance with me? Why did I think he even cared about me? He clearly likes girls. He isn’t like you, he isn’t gay. Kuroo is normal, Kuroo is perfect. How dare I think otherwise.’</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Kenma finally stopped running. He looked around, his heart aching. He was in front of Kuroo’s house. Of course, he was, where else would he go. Kuroo was the only person he had ever trusted. Kuroo was the only person he even cared about. Kenma’s knees gave out, tears coloring the pavement. Kenma felt his phone buzz in his pocket, he ignored it. He couldn’t think, he couldn’t move, for god’s sake, he couldn’t even breathe properly. His hand crawled to his hair as his phone stopped buzzing. Kenma pulled on his hair, his vision blacking.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘</span>
  <em>
    <span>He doesn’t love you</span>
  </em>
  <span>,’ Kenmas inner voice said. Kenma felt the air in his lungs give out, an ugly sob coming out from his mouth. He felt his phone go off again. With shaking hands he grabbed his phone. Kuroo’s ID was on his phone, making Kenma scream. He dropped his phone, tears falling down harder. Of all the people to call him, why did it have to be Kuroo? The man of his affection, the man of his tears. Kenma watched as his phone began to ring for the third time. He slowly crawled over to it, his hands shaking. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Kenma where are you?” Kuroo asked, his voice panicked. Kenma let out a sob, his vision being obstructed with his tears. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Kenma?” His hand began to shake as he sent his location to the male on the other side of the phone. Kenma watched as his tears hit his screen, distorting the call.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Stay right there, I’m on my way!” Kenma didn’t say anything, he couldn’t. He couldn’t do anything.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Kenma please say something, anything!” Kuroo begged. He opened his mouth,</span>
</p><p>
  <span>words failing to come out. Kenma’s breath failed him, his hands moving to his head. Kenma heard Kuroo sigh, frustration clearly heard within the sigh. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m sorry,” Kuroo said. Kenma choked out a sob, listening to Kuroo’s footsteps on the other side of the phone. Kuroo inhaled sharply, his footsteps slowing down. Kenma knew what he wanted to say, what he wanted to ask. He waited for Kuroo to ask him the question, the one that sat on the tip of his tongue.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“How is it you forgot how to speak?” Kuroo asked. Kenma felt his throat close, words staying on his tongue instead of rolling off. Kenma’s hands shook as he tugged on his hair, tears burning his eyes. He began to panic, what was he supposed to say to Kuroo? Could he even say anything? He hadn’t talked to someone in years. He hadn’t had anyone to talk to, at least not anyone to trust. Kenma's body shook, fear clawing at his throat. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Gentle arms pulled Kenma’s hands out of his hair. The hands soon wrapped around his body, bringing warmth with them. Kenma wrapped his tiny hands around the taller man, his throat letting out a sob. Soothing circles were rubbed on Kenmas' back, as he tried to calm down.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“So how is it that you forgot to speak?” Kuroo asked, his voice as soft as he could get it. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘</span>
  <em>
    <span>You don’t,</span>
  </em>
  <span>’ Kenma thought as his eyes began to swell up again, a broken sob coming out of his mouth. Kuroo hugged Kenma as if the world was ending. He didn’t just hug him, he held him. He held him close enough for Kenma to hear his racing heart. Kenma’s mouth moved no words coming out. He tried again but his throat made no noise.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I love you,” Kenma sobbed out. Kuroo pulled Kenma back, his eyes wide open. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“W-what?” Kuroo was more than shocked. He never thought Kenma would talk, or even say anything. Kuroo had always believed that Kenma would be able to talk again, he just never thought he would hear it.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I-I love you,” Kenma said, his face bright red with embarrassment. Kenma took a deep breath, looking into Kuroo’s eyes.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I never forgot how to talk, I just never did. There was never anyone to talk to, not anyone who would really care. Then I met you and you were just so kind and loving. I wanted to talk to you but oh god was I scared, I was so scared. I thought you would ha-” Kenma felt Kuroo’s lips on his. The kiss was soft and filled with love. Kenma melted into the kiss, his heart swelling with happiness.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I love you too.”</span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>word count: 4,206<br/>finished: 8/17/2020 [21:00]<br/>edited: 8/18/2020 [17:39]<br/>posted: 8/18/2020 [17:45]</p></blockquote></div></div>
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